


Another Thread in Clint Barton's Inbox

by Elizabeth Perry (watersword)



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, M/M, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 06:32:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watersword/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Perry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From: <c.barton@shield.gov><br/>To: <p.coulson@shield.gov><br/>look at what tony sent me.<br/><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/536233">Forwarded content</a></p><p>From: <p.coulson@shield.gov><br/>To: <c.barton@shield.gov><br/>Barton, for the thousandth time, stop opening attachments from Stark.</p><p>From: <c.barton@shield.gov><br/>To: <p.coulson@shield.gov><br/>i'm totally telling tony you think he'd stoop to email viruses. unless you want to buy my silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Thread in Clint Barton's Inbox

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Attention, People Magazine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/536233) by [dreamingbackwards](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingbackwards/pseuds/dreamingbackwards). 



> "Philip James Delaware Coulson" stolen from [Fifty Pound Draw](http://archiveofourown.org/works/463849). "Ten-tickles" from ainsley. Font in the image is [Christopherhand](http://www.dafont.com/christopherhand.font).

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
look at what tony sent me.  
[Forwarded content](http://archiveofourown.org/works/536233)

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
Barton, for the thousandth time, stop opening attachments from Stark.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
i'm totally telling tony you think he'd stoop to email viruses. unless you want to buy my silence.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
We have a joint checking account. I'm not sure you're clear on how bribery works.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
who said anything about CASH?

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
Ah.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
oh my god.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
What?

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
OH MY GOD.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
WHAT?

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
tony thinks i'm single.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
Didn't the Times call him the defining genius of his generation last week? 

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
i guess his generation is really oblivious.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
That could be a danger in the field. If you get your paperwork backlog cleared by the end of the day, I might be able to authorize an Avengers-specific situational awareness training module.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
philip james delaware coulson, are you saying i can startle the shit out of tony whenever i want in the name of training?

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
I need: your two most recent after-actions; all the equipment requisition forms you've neglected; the expense reports from 07/15-10/15; your assessments of Probationary Junior Agents Michelle Liebovitz, Nora Duane, and Roberto Langley; vacation requests; an updated HIPAA release; _completed_ requests for R &D (I have several incompletes you're welcome to pick up and finish); and an apology note to Joanne Baldwin, before I can answer that.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
damn, sir.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
By the end of the day, Barton.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
 _damn_ , sir.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
Oh, look at what I found: Operation Griffon analyses with requests for more detail on your reasons on switching vantage-points, a disciplinary action from Agent Rodrigeuz, three expense reports returned from Financial, and a noise complaint from the staff members quartered next to you in training barracks.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
oh, come on, the screaming was not my fault, i told tasha to knock if you were on campus. on her own head be it.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
The complaint seems to be more focused on the Miranda Lambert album, played at 83 decibels, between 2100 hours and 0300 hours.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
well, that was to cover the _other_ screaming.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
Dream on, Barton. There was no screaming.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
there was definitely screaming.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
Don't think I won't take the surveillance tapes home just to prove you wrong.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
i'll bring the popcorn. and the flavored lube.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
Barton, are you behind this fruit basket delivery?

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
that's alllllllll on tony.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
So I see.  
Attachment:  


From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
well. that's...special. hentai jokes, really? i'm ashamed.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
I've changed my mind. Never mind the paperwork, and I'll backdate the authorization for the SA training.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
i don't say this often enough: i fucking love you and your evil streak. any special requests?

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>  
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>  
Try to get him facing the south cameras in Lab 3, we just upgraded, and pick up more orange juice on the way home. SOMEONE finished the carton this morning. I love you too.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Another Thread in Clint Barton's Inbox [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161604) by [MysticMoon974 (Andrefla)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrefla/pseuds/MysticMoon974), [paraka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paraka/pseuds/paraka)




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